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My only goal in life is to be as sarcastic as him

nothomo:

when ur parents call u for dinner and u see they made your fav

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In the delivery room

tokomon:

mother: is it a boy or a girl?

doctor: *puts baby between teeth* it’s a metaphor

meanplastic:

heartless:

imagine if we all went to school together

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furbychild:

talk furby to me

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c1u:

reblog if you are into bondage or if you like french fries

bryko:

Reblog if you remember when Tumblr looked like this

When I cheat on my tree bf
me: I'm sorry babe I love u
bf: just go. leaf.

muscleluvr2:

oh youre a son? name 5 of your parents

justintimberlakedoingthings:

Justin Timberlake plays tag with a taxicab